Of course I make a break for it, but I slam right into a the largest pair of tits I’ve ever had the pleasure of encountering. Jessica, as it turns out is a lovely woman, towering at nearly six feet tall with a wide build like some valkyrie or something. Jessica grabs my arms and twists them behind my back.
I wince. “Hey! Be gentle, gorgeous.” I can at least get the satisfaction that I made her blush.
Still, Jessica’s grip is as strong as iron and she removes my sister’s cake from my grasp and passes it to Agatha.
“Creator Agatha, be careful with the costumer,” says UB and I’m almost touched.
“She’s not a customer, UB. She’s a thief,” her words drip with loathing and her breath smells of burnt sugar. “Who are you?”
“Does that really matter? You caught me. Call the police already.”
“Don’t you worry about that.”
“Yeah? Just know you’re ruining a little girl’s birthday!”
UB’s digital face drops into a frown. “Birthday?”
“Yeah, my sister’s!” I turn to Agatha, “Look, you’re prices are too high. But that little cupcake you’re charging through the nose for would make her entire year. So let me have it.”
Agatha rolls her eyes so deep into her head I think she’s about to faint. “You know we sell day-old goods at half price, right? We even donate the majority of our leftovers to charity. You went through a lot of extra effort just to get yourself into jail. Why should I buy your story.”
“Because I wouldn’t be in a ten block radius of your little bakery otherwise! I think you’re smug little operation is stupid, and now I know why you all keep you’re chef here a secret. You can’t really sell the ‘old family recipe’ crap with a robot.”
“Is there something wrong with your food?” asks UB. Man, that things was just a little too considerate. I look up to speak but catch my breath when I saw how disappointed it is.
“They are family recipes for your information,” said Agatha. “UB here just makes things more efficient.”
I glance over at UB who stares at the cake it was just decorating with this immense sense of disappointment. “Look, man, I didn’t mean it-“
“Hey, don’t talk to him!” Agatha pinch the bridge of her nose with frustration. “Jessica, tie this fool to the post over there. Grams will figure this out.”
Jessica brings me over to a pillar at the side of the room and secured me with one of those zip tie things. She pauses. “How old is your sister?”
I smile. “10.”
She nods and looks away before following Agatha out the kitchen. I hear the sad hum of UB approaching and I halfway wonder if I’m just projecting the sadness in its movements.
There’s a fork of cake in front of my face. “Wha-?”
“Has this human tried UB’s creation yet?” it asks me.
I shake my head. “No, I haven’t.”
It’s digital yellow face appears determined. “Then you will!” It pauses, “Is this human allergic to any standard baking ingredients?”
I shake my head again and before I can even say no, the cake is in my mouth. I almost cough it out because of the shock of the moment but the luscious creaminess that is the frosting overwhelms my gag reflex. Shit this is good.
I don’t even need to say it, UB can see my approval in my expression. “Good. Another!” This goes on for like at least another minute and I’m full of cake. It’s only when Agatha comes back with Jessica and Grams does UB stop.
“Looks like our baker has taken a liking to you,” says the little old lady with missing teeth.
“Yeah-” my words are lost between the confectionary chewing.
“Tell me,” she begins, “Is that you said true, that you wanted a cake for your little sister’s birthday?”
I gulp the cake and nod, staring the old woman in the eye.
She appears unimpressed but nods. “So be it.”
My little sister likes to visit me when I’m working at the bakery. This is the deal we worked out with the Bundts and Bolts family; I work off my debt and promise not to tell anyone about my new buddy UB. Jessica is taking me out on our second date this Wednesday, UB wants to bake a cake in celebration. Typical.